Wanda Hartman's Blog: 16 Tips for New Moms from a Mom Who’s Been There

Tips for New Moms - Spit Up is the New Black

I was a new mom almost 4 years ago (oh no, does that make me an old mom now?). I’m the farthest thing from an expert, but there are a handful of things that I learned over the past 4 years from being thrown to the wolves in this club we call motherhood. There were many times I didn’t take my own advice below, but really wish I had, because now in hindsight, I’m no longer looking through spit up-covered glasses to see the big picture.

1. Take the hand-me-downs. If someone is kind enough to offer you some pre-loved clothes, or even stained bibs, just take them (at least you know where/who the stains came from). Not only is it a kind gesture, but there will be times when your baby has a blowout, spit up bouts, or you’re in desperate need to put something on them that you don’t want to ruin (like the expensive sleepers you just had to buy).

2. Accept the help. Again, people are so giving and thoughtful when you have a baby. They just want to help, so accept it. It may be hard to say “okay,” but they are your family and friends for a reason and you’re actually giving them a gift letting them spend some time with your little bundle.

Three weeks into my daughter’s life, I was exhausted. I hadn’t slept for more than an hour or two at a time and my husband and I were starting to take our lack of sleep out on each other. My childhood friend, who is also my daughter’s Godmother and lives 3 hours away, invited us to stay with her so we could regroup. Not only was it a nice change of scenery, she offered to wake up with Bear ALL NIGHT, EVERY NIGHT we were there. How could I accept such an offer? While hard, I accepted it and it was the best gift anyone could have given me at that time in my life.

3. It’s okay to ASK for help. On the flip side, while we claim to be superwoman, there comes a breaking point. Knowing that breaking point is just as important as asking for help before you get there.

4. Accept offered food. Other than the nighttime feeds, the other best gift I received was a couple frozen carousels from my friend to pop in the oven for dinners that first week home. While bibs and blankets are great “welcome home” gifts, nothing really says “welcome home with your new roommate who will wake you up every hour and literally suck the life out of you” like a pre-made, ready-to-eat meal.

5. Listen to your body. Maternity leave isn’t glamorous. Sure, you get X amount of days off of work, but it is another form of work and exhaustion. It’s OK to want to stay in and hide from the world for a few weeks if you’re not up for venturing into public quite yet. You just pushed a bowling ball out and you may not feel your best (physically and emotionally).

My body wasn’t healthy enough that first week to go out and face the outside world, so I stayed “in hiding” for a week or so. When my son was born, after a terrible birthing experience with 7 botched epidurals, I wanted to do nothing other than stay in bed for a week post-birth. I watched a lot of game shows and just snuggled with my Little Man.

On the flip side, my daughter’s birth was a breeze and I felt ready to embrace the world with her at just 4 days old. I recall being at the grocery store when she was less than 96 hours old and an older man yelled at me and told me I should be home resting. I know he had good intentions, but I listened to my body and felt fine, stir crazy even. I needed to get out.

6. Make dinners in bulk and freeze them ahead of time. Just like my friend’s amazing gift, if you have time before the baby arrives, make meals for the first few weeks at home with baby so you don’t have to slave over the stove or rely on pizza every night of the week.

7. Take as many naps as you can. Your body just went through hell. Give yourself time to recover and take care of it. When baby sleeps, you sleep. It’s the oldest piece of advice in the book, yet I know more moms that don’t take that advice than those who do. The dishes and laundry and anything else can wait.

8. Shower. Nothing groundbreaking here, but just a 15 minute shower and a change of clothes can boost your mood and awaken your senses. I put my baby in the [AD] Rock ‘n Play while I showered. That thing was a lifesaver!

9. Avoid the overabundance of baby accessories. I spent waaaaaay too much money on newborn shoes and matching bows. I think she wore them once, if at all. There were a handful of items I bought and never used. Avoid those.

Family Photo - Tips for New Moms

10. Invest in newborn (and family) photos. With both my children, I found amazing local photographers that came to the house within the week of each child being born to take newborn and family photos (all photos in this post were taken by Antonieta Esis). Those are some of the most precious photos I have. Not only did they capture my little babies, but they also captured the joy of my husband and I during those first few days at home with each of our children.

11. Set up a convenient changing station. If you have a 2-story house and you’ll be spending most of your days downstairs, away from the nursery, set up a changing station downstairs equipped with diapers, wipes, extra sleepers and a changing pad. You can make a mini station on the couch or set up the [AD] Pack ‘n Play with the changing pad downstairs.

12. Buy crappy underwear. No one wants to think of, or talk about, the aftermath of birth. Let’s just say that you’ll ruin a few pairs of underwear, so you may want to pick up some cheapies at the drugstore (you know, the packaged kind) for this occasion.

13. Stay hydrated, especially if you’re nursing. Taking care of a newborn can be so time consuming and challenging that you forget to take care of yourself.

14. Save money by buying second-hand items, but be selective. Unlike the freebie hand-me-downs, you don’t want to pay for stains (insert Jimmy Fallon’s “ew” here). Plus, don’t skimp on his or her going home outfit and try to avoid secondhand socks/shoes, coats, and sleepers/pjs, unless very gently worn. Those tend to get frequent use.

15. Pick a pediatrician. If you can, try to research pediatricians before giving birth, but don’t freak out if you don’t get around to it. We didn’t and selected one sight unseen when my daughter was less than a day old, and we couldn’t be happier. [Bonus Tip: Don’t forget to see YOUR doctor for your 6 week visit.]

16. Be mindful. Life travels at 100 mph those first few weeks. They may seem like eternity as you’re living them, they go by quickly. Your baby will only be a newborn for a short time. Live in the moment. Be mindful. Breathe. Smell that baby skin. Cuddle. Hold those little tootsies in the palm of your hand. Enjoy every. single. moment.